Part I: why we chose this case
We exchanged in our discussion
some incidents, which we thought we had been treated unfairly in the past. But
we finally chose this one from Alice as our study case. For reasons as below:
Unlike other
cases we brought up that happened in our adult age, which were usually related
to business or conflict interest issues, this case has a very clear and concise
background about a girl failed to be honoured as the Miyoshi Student as she wanted. It happened in teenage stage, and it arouses us that each of us has
similar experience. So, it simply triggers our curiosity to check what a
teenage world look likes from an adult’s eyes; and to discover the proper
communication way between the adult and teenage.
Part II: the Complaint Letter
Dear Mr. Xu,
I am writing
to you to complaint about being treated unfairly by you.
Two other
students with me went to the Teacher’s Office this morning, and we heard by
accidently from Teacher Li and Teacher Liang, who saying that you decided to choose
student Wang Hu instead of me, as the Miyoshi Student candidate to represent
our class to compete for the Miyoshi Student honor of the whole city.
As you have
announced before that to be a Miyoshi Student candidate, according to the
qualification requirement from the Education Bureau, one has to
rank to top 3 in the academic grades, and he or she has to win most of votes in
the whole class’s voting process. As you well know that I usually ranked before
or the 3rd place in all examinations, and I am the student who won
most votes from classmates in the voting of last week. So, to be short, as the
fact I perceived that I have met all qualifications announced by you to be the
Miyoshi Student, so I should be the Miyoshi Student candidate.

To be honest
with you, I feel so angry and disappointing with you now. I don’t understand
why you do like this. For that you always teach us to be honest with others and
ourselves. I believe that you should keep your own words, means, to elect the
one who ranked top 3 in grades and won most votes from classmates to be the
Miyoshi Student candidate. But you ate your own words now. I believe that you
should remember well that Wang Hu got 8 votes less than me during the voting
last week, although he always rank top one in the academic grades. So, I really
don’t understand why you chose him instead of me as the Miyoshi Student
candidate.
And I am angry
with you that you even didn’t tell me about such result. I don’t know how to
face with my friends and parents now. Because I have told them that I was
elected by the whole class as Miyoshi Student candidate. Now, you changed the
result individually without informing me timely, I am going to lose face in
front of them. What a shame!
Considering
what you said before, and what you have done with me, I want you to explain
publicly why you didn’t choose me as the Miyoshi Student candidate. I feel that
I can build trust on you only in this way, and continue the study in your class
in future.
Thank you,
Alice
Part Ⅲ: Analysis- Why this complaint arisen
To begin with,
let’s conclude the reality and facts as follows.
1. A student
should be chose from the class to participate the competition for the Miyoshi
Student honor of the whole city.
2. According
to the qualification requirement from the Education Bureau, Miyoshi
Student candidate should rank to top 3 in the academic grades, and he or she
has to win most of votes in the whole class’s voting process.
3. Alice was
the top 3 student in academic grades, and she also won the most of votes from
her classmates.
4. Wang Hu was
the top 1 student in academic grades, and he got 8 votes less than Alice during
the voting.
5. Alice heard
by accidently from other teachers that Mr. Xu already determined Wang Hu as the
Miyoshi student candidate.
Then,
according to the Ladder of Inference theory, let’s have a look at why this
conflict arisen based on the analysis of the different perspectives from Mr. Xu
and Alice.
From Alice’s perspective:
Selected reality
Mr. Wu
determined to choose Wang Hu instead of Alice to be the Miyoshi student
candidate without telling Alice. And Alice was the only student in the class
who met the qualification requirements from the Education Bureau.
Interpreted Reality
Mr. Wu wanted
to change the voting result secretly without informing the students.
Assumptions
Mr. Wu would
eat his own words.
Conclusion
Alice was
going to lose face in front of her classmates and parents.
Beliefs
Mr. Wu might
dislike Alice. And Mr. Wu couldn’t be trusted.
From Mr Wu’s perspective:
Selected reality
Wang Hu was
the top one student of the class. He only got 8 votes less than Alice during
the voting.
Interpreted Reality
Wang Hu would
have more possibility to win the Miyoshi Student honor in the whole city, since
he had better academic record than Alice.
Assumptions
Alice had very
small chance to win the Miyoshi Student honor, so this opportunity was not that
important for her.
Conclusion
Mr. Wu could
confirm the Miyoshi Student first and then find an opportunity to explain to Alice
and other students.
Beliefs
The students
would agree with him that the only chance should not be wasted. And Alice would
understand this too.
As a
consequence, because of the different values and perceptions of Mr. Xu and
Alice, Alice thought she was offended by Mr. Xu and Mr. Xu may don’t think so.
Part IV: How to walk down the ladder of inference
1.
Speak up your mind
For Mr. Wu, he
should have explained to Alice his reasons why he changed the result, instead
of changing it without telling her. Alice was a considerate student, if he
explained to her based on the benefit of the school, we believe that she would
understand it. However, because of his action, the incident turned into a disrespecting
behavior. To Alice, whether to be a Miyoshi Student candidate was not that
important any more, what she needed was respect and dignity. So, we should not
just climb up the ladder and make conclusion by ourselves, instead, we should
speak up and explain our thoughts to others. Otherwise, it will cause some
conflicts you even never expect, as the other people will have their own
reasoning process.
2.
Slow your inference process down
We always
could not be aware of how quickly we climb up the ladder, and make our
conclusion. Thus, sometimes we make wrong conclusion not because we are
unreasonable people, just because we climb up the ladder so quick that we don’t
have enough time to think it through. If we slow the process down a little bit,
maybe you will have better interpretation of the fact, and the conclusion will
be more reasonable. By the same token, our actions will not hurt anyone.
For Mr. Wu,
when he interpreted to himself that Alice would understand his decision and he
would find a chance to explain to her. He selected one fact Alice would
understand his decision, but neglected the fact that Alice was a person need
respect. Therefore, if Mr. Wu didn’t interpreted the fact so quick and think
about another fact he ignored, maybe Alice would not be so angry.
For Alice, if
she could control the disappointment for a while, and didn’t just focus on the
fact Mr. Wu changed the decision. Furthermore, took a minute to think about the
intention of changing the decision, maybe she would not interpreted it as
disrespecting. Consequently, we should slow down when climbing up the ladder,
then think about every step of the ladder of inference and think about that of others.
3.
Reflect on your own interpretation thought
When we are
interpreting the information, sometimes we just interpret based on the
hypothesis rather than the fact. The hypothesis is usually affected by our
experience and value, sometimes they become some kinds of potential
consciousness and we even don’t realize we are influenced by them. So, before
we interpret the information, we should reflect whether we interpret on the
basis of the fact; if it doesn’t, we should stop climbing up the ladder and
reinterpret the information. If not, we will definitely have a wrong
conclusion. Like Alice’s interpretation, when she knew the news from other teachers
before Mr. Wu’s explanation, she just climbed up the ladder and interpreted the
information as Mr. Wu was going to change the decision secretly without telling
her. Actually, Mr. Wu was going to tell her. So, sometimes we are not offended
by other people, but by ourselves.
4.
Ask other people to help you point out problems
of your inference process.
As some
hypothesis and value become our potential consciousness, it is hard for us to
realize our mistake, so it is necessary to ask help from other people who we
can count on. We need to display our mind and reasoning process without
concealing any information, let them diagnose that. For instance, if Mr. Wu
communicated with another teacher who was more experienced first about his
decision, he maybe was aware of that even though Alice was considerate, it
would still hurt her dignity without telling her timely.
In conclusion,
every step we climb up the ladder, we should take a while to reconsider whether
it is right, whether is based on full facts. What’s more, we should take a look
at the other party’s reference process, trying to understand their intentions behind
actions. Good intention is not enough to avoid conflict, reasonable reference
will be better to prevent conflict happening.
-end.